Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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