Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
i drank out of a bidet.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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