Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
