dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Randomize
