She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
