Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Randomize
