I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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