I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
