at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
