Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
