It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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