I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
