meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
