Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
