The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
