I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
