What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Randomize
