Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
