I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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