Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(919): View more from North Carolina

Can i not drive my cunt home

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(636): View more from Missouri

I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.

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(516): View more from New York

In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea

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(612): View more from Minnesota

Now have a vodka water and get your shit together

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(757): View more from Virginia

I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.

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(720): View more from Colorado

July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.

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(308): View more from Nebraska

Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days

(1-308): View more from Nebraska

Are you goin to rehab again?

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.

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(218): View more from Minnesota

Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...

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