I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
