i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
