So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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