she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
