i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Randomize
