So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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