I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Randomize
