Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
The police scanner is talking about you again....
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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