So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
