Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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