I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
