I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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