I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
