I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
