Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
did i walk over a car last night?
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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