she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
