people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
he just fucked me for my cheese.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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