so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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