well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
