your room smells of hookers.
And success
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
