So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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