Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
