I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
