You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
