I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
