Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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