is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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