I heard we made out
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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