he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
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