i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
